Everyone Has Toxic Traits..
It is important to be open minded to the fact that you have toxic traits. You have imperfections and you have room to improve. The sooner you realize this, the easier they are to correct. Negative personality traits are not inherently negative. Remember that.
How Do I Become More Aware Of My Toxic Traits?
Chances are, you have cut someone from your life who no longer serves you positively.. Why did you do that? Were they too judgmental? Too impatient? Did they make you feel unsafe? Whatever the reason, you saw that in them and you decided to do something about it. Why not do the same for ourselves?
Take a look at your past friendships and relationships.. Why did they end? If right now, you're listing off the hundreds of bad things they did, you're going about it wrong. Recognize the things that you did to contribute to the end of that relationship. Look at the things you could've done better and take responsibility for those. Make a mental note and move on to the next failed friendship or relationship. If you see a pattern like:
"I was too quick to anger."
"I wasn't a good listener."
or
"I was too suspicious."
Then you have found a few of your toxic traits.
Take a look at your past friendships and relationships.. Why did they end? If right now, you're listing off the hundreds of bad things they did, you're going about it wrong. Recognize the things that you did to contribute to the end of that relationship. Look at the things you could've done better and take responsibility for those. Make a mental note and move on to the next failed friendship or relationship. If you see a pattern like:
"I was too quick to anger."
"I wasn't a good listener."
or
"I was too suspicious."
Then you have found a few of your toxic traits.
So I've Found My Toxic Traits.. What Do I Do About Them?
The hardest part about healing is accepting that you need to be healed. If you have been open and honest with yourself about what your true toxic traits are, you have made the biggest step. From that point it is just figuring out the root of the issue. What emotion is driving your toxicity? Is it fear? Anger? Sadness? Whatever it may be, figure out why.. I understand that these traits are hard to change. I have trust issues in my friendships. I am too picky. I appear standoffish... These aren't necessarily things that I can completely get rid of. But recognizing that I have these traits, helps me cope with them when they come up in my friendships or relationships. Be mindful of them. Understand them. The devil you know is much less scary than one you choose to look past.. ;)